Happy belated birthday, Ms. Gomez

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As contributor MattByMoonlight has alluded to, yesterday was starlet Selena Gomez's 18th birthday. No doubt, scores of pedophiles across the globe are relieved that they can now stare at her for hours at a time. Gomez has been uncomfortably attractive until now, but pedos, normal human males, and Disney fans alike can all now stalkerishly objectify her without legal ramifications. Congrats, Selena!

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